Natural Body Functions

I am a female, and I fart, I burp, and I poop.

I am often ridiculed by my friends and peers for these things. Why must I be ashamed the my body works properly? Who made up these rules anyways?

Farts. Everyone does it. But most people go to great strides to keep it from happening, or at least anyone from noticing. They'll sit there, and realize they need to fart, then they'll try with all their might, not to be noticiable when they clench their butt cheecks together hoping to prevent it from occuring. Or if it's beyond their control, they'll try their hardest, use all of their available muscles to let it out slowly, so slowly that no one could ever tell.
Could someone please explain to me the reason we are all so self conscious? I would like to live in a time when I wouldn't have to be ashamed of my body natually digesting food.

Burps. Yes, I do that as well. And it's not wrong or disgusting. All it tells the world is that either I ate too fast becuase I don't get a lunch break, or that I had a soda or beer. Why in the world is that wrong? It isn't, so I shouldn't be ashamed of the effects.

Poops. Now seriously. It isn't lady like to poop, or tell people, or even hint that you do this most detestable thing. This one will be the shortest rant of all. So fucking what?! I eat, I poop, it happens, deal with it.